Recap: Rizzoli and Isles Ep. 5.04 Doomsday

R&I

I know, this recap is late. Put the blame on some medical issues which didn’t turn out to be a huge deal. But am I still loopy on pain meds, or did this week’s episode amp up the silliness quotient quite a bit? There are several references to Scooby Doo and other light banter not related to police work. Other than the intrusion of the case of the week, there’s some fun and laughs and motorcycles to be had, amidst the explosions and personal drama. A little something for everybody.

We open with the victim of the week in his living room. He opens a secret door by moving a book in his bookcase to reveal a hidden room. This is just like Get Smart! Am I the only one thinking that? Don’t worry, we’ll get to Scooby Doo in a couple. The hidden room is more like a bunker. VotW opens a gym bag full of guns and initiates some sort of drill. Five hours later, there’s panic in the bunker. VotW’s vision blurs; he tries to type something on a computer, then collapses.

Jane and Maura are at The Dirty Robber. A guy sends Jane a glass of wine. Jane wants to keep it because pregnant French women drink wine, and Maura counters that French women don’t shave their underarms (recently, Betty White said on Hot in Cleveland that pregnant women in France drink wine, but then they give birth to French people. It’s like the UN over there on cable teevee.). Maura wants to let Jane’s would-be suitor down easy, so she does what any good GF would do and mouths to the guy that Jane’s gay.

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It doesn’t have the desired effect, as he seems to be intrigued, so Maura adds that Jane is with child. That does the job. (Remember that, ladies. Lesbo is a turn-on, but nothing dampens a guy’s ardor faster than baby talk. It works on me, too).  Maura brings up the baby’s college fund, when they’re interrupted by twin phone calls.

At the dead guy’s house, the detectives find out the dead guy, Peter, lived alone. Korsak opens the secret bookcase door, and Jane is impressed, she’s always wanted one. She says Shaggy and Scooby would be proud. Korsak calls Jane Velma, which is clearly wrong, IMO, and Jane agrees that she’s Daphne. Of  course she is. She asks Maura to back her up on that, but Maura ain’t playin’. Don’t matter. Maura’s so Velma.

Jane and Korsak interview Peter’s friend, Scott. They’re survivalists, and Peter died in his doomsday bunker, or ‘bug-out,’ as they refer to it. We’ll be learning lots more survivalist lingo this week, don’t worry. The bug-out is supposed to withstand anything, even black holes, so how Peter died during a decidedly not black-holish routine drill is a mystery. Jane and Korsak walk into the bunker, where Maura examines the body. Jane finds the place creepy and paranoid, but the ever-practical Maura recalls the Black Death and other historical fun stuff and says maybe a bug-out has a purpose. They theorize about a cause of death while also debating the merits of Scooby Doo. Maura, again practical, says every episode is the same; Jane says it’s a classic. Of course, both statements are true. Ay, there’s the rub. All of this Scooby Doo talk brings Shakespeare to mind.

At the station, Ma Rizzoli wrings her hands to Jane about Frankie. Check out that outfit!

ri3-ma's outfit

Seems he’s not as accessible as Ma would like these days, and she thinks it’s because of a girl. She wants Jane to find out the details. Gah, if I had a mom as meddlesome as Ma Riz, I’d move to Seattle. In the squad room, Jane stares down Frankie, but he’s not giving away anything. Korsak has done some digging and Peter appears to be a normal guy, except for the constantly practicing for surviving Armageddon thing. Frankie then admits to being a ‘prepper’, but backtracks after the shocked looks from all in the room. I hope Ma doesn’t find out. She’s got enough imaginary stuff to obsess over.

Korsak hands Jane a birthday card to sign for Lisa in Dispatch. I doubt we’ll be seeing Lisa like we’ve been seeing Susie lately, but you never know. Better remember her name, just in case. After Jane signs the card, she puts it on Korsak’s desk and sees some information on retirement.

Over in autopsy, Maura tells Jane the cause of death is Halon gas, which is fatal in large doses. Since the bug-out was a supposedly sealed chamber, that makes it murder. But Jane can’t concentrate on that now, she’s fretting about Korsak’s apparently impending retirement. Maura tells her not to jump to conclusions, but Jane can’t imagine the job without him.

Back in the squad room, Jane tries to determine Korsak’s age by talking about the Kennedy assassination. Smooth, Jane. Frankie walks in and says Peter’s computer is encrypted with Pentagon security, and he’ll find someone to crack it (which, of course, used to be Frost’s specialty. *sniff*). Jane says bank records show lots of withdrawals in the past year, and Korask talked to a neighbor who saw a fight between Peter and a guy named Noah not long ago. Phone records show calls between Peter and a Noah Forsythe until a month ago.

Frankie and Maura interview doomsday expert and bug-out builder Bob McGrath. While Maura and Bob have a geeky conversation, Maura asks how the bug-out’s ventilation system could be compromised. Bob says he built the thing on Peter’s specs, and there are no leaks. Susie (I told you she was here to stay.) then comes in, all puzzled because her equipment isn’t working. Meanwhile, Korsak talks to Noah, who at first isn’t very cooperative then says that Peter was buying gold. Apparently gold will be more valuable than money when the apocalypse hits. Maybe, but I’m willing to bet chocolate will be even more valuable. And what about pizza? I have my priorities. Noah says the fight was a result of Peter reneging on his promise to let Noah use the shelter in case the world ends. My friends and I have fights like that all the time. Korsak smirks. Get Frankie in here. He’ll be sympathetic.

Back in the ME’s office, Jane taps on Maura’s keyboard (literally, not figuratively) to look up Korsak’s service record, so he won’t see her.

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Maura scolds Jane for snooping, but Frankie calls to say the encryption code has been broken.

The detectives watch a video filmed inside the bunker. Jane spots the case Peter brought in, which wasn’t there after his death. Jane surmises it was full of gold, and someone stole it. Maybe there’s another secret door to the bunker? Gadzooks! They discuss the possibilities, and Jane asks Frankie to set up a radar test for tomorrow. But it’s quittin’ time and Frankie’s on his way out. He has an appointment he can’t miss but doesn’t elaborate. Oh, the mystery! After Frankie awkwardly leaves, Korsak wonders what’s up, and Jane says people have all kinds of secrets, as she gives him the side-eye. She asks if there’s anything he’d like to say. Poker face from Korsak.

Maura has dragged Jane somewhere after work, and Jane is bitching about how she should be home on her couch eating nachos. I hear ya, babe. But Maura says everyone should live in the moment and seize the day, and leads so she leads Jane to a motorcycle she’s thinking of buying.

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Of course, she wants Jane to approve such a purchase first. It has a sidecar, because, of course, Jane will be riding with her. Somehow I can’t see Jane being content to ride side-saddle, but presumably Maura knows her better than I do. Korsak texts Jane.

The next day at Peter’s place, Jane confronts Korsak about retirement. He asks how she knows and accuses her of snooping. It doesn’t go well. Jane gets all upset, and Korsak says maybe this is why he didn’t say anything to her. Ouch.

Back at the ME’s office, Susie tells Maura her equipment is now mysteriously working again when it wasn’t at the crime scene. Maura says an electromagnetic field would cause a problem, and while she didn’t see any evidence of it, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. Science-nerd Maura is so cute. She calls Jane to tell her to redirect the radar team to inside the bug-out.

Jane and Korsak are in Peter’s living room, bickering, when there’s an explosion from the bookcase.

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Sure, it’s an extreme way to get these two to stop sniping and talk to each other, but whatever works. Later, as they nurse their wounds, they finally have a heart-to-heart. Korsak is having a bit of a mid-to-later-life crisis. Kiki the life coach suggested he fill out the retirement papers to see how it feels, but he might take the lieutenant’s exam. He’s keeping his options open. Of course, Jane tells him what an awesome lieutenant he’d be.

Back inside the house, a tunnel is discovered in the bunker. A secret tunnel, Scooby!! The detectives shine their flashlights down the hole and see the body of Bob, the builder, at the bottom. Jane surmises Bob got himself hired to build the bunker, modified the plans to put in a secret entrance, then went in and stole the gold. Frankie found gold at Bob’s house, along with other items stolen from clients. Frankie uses more survivalist lingo, as he calls Bob a “marauder.”

Later in the break room, Ma corners Jane to yell at her about the bombing and tries to get her to take some time off. Has she, you know, met Jane? ‘Cause that ain’t happening. Then Ma pumps Jane for info on Frankie, but Jane tells her to MYOB. Has Jane, you know, met Ma? ‘Cause that ain’t happening, either.

In autopsy, Jane says talking about the bug-out to Maura and Frankie made Bob nervous enough to try and cover up the entrance, which in turn got him blown up. But Maura determines he received a blow to the head and died before the explosion. Bob must have had a partner. They robbed Peter, then Bob tells his partner about being questioned,  and the partner kills the evidence, along with Bob. Time to find the partner.

Frankie, the sudden survivalist, explains marauders to Susie.

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Are we being set up for Frusie? Or Sankie, if you prefer? That would be interesting, Jane interrupts their little love jones to speak to Frankie. After discussing the case a bit, they get to the important stuff: who’s the girl Frankie’s hiding? But it’s not a babe (Frusie’s still a possibility).. It’s computer engineering courses. Like Korsak, Frankie’s thinking about his future. He asks Jane not to tell Ma, or else his days and nights will be filled with being her personal Genius Bar.

To try to find Bob’s partner, the detectives interview another of his clients. Jane and Korsak talk with a woman whose husband had Bob build a bug-out. She also had diamonds stolen. The diamonds were an investment, and she was coincidentally referred to the dealer by Scott, Peter’s friend. The cops raid Scott’s house and find bomb-making supplies. After analyzing soil samples, Maura traces Scott to the town of Southwick. The cops go there and literally smoke him out of his underground bunker.

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Jane tries to get Maura to pronounce “bug-out” correctly. Is it BUG-out or bug-OUT? That seems pretty simple, but nothing is simple to nerdMaura, who keeps practicing.

The case solved, back at the station, Frankie still sympathizes with survivalists. He hands out doomsday emergency kits to all his fellow cops but is dismayed when Jane immediately digs into her freeze-dried ice cream.

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I think everyone should prepare their own such kits. What one wants on hand in the event of apocalypse is very subjective.

That night, Jane relaxes in the sidecar.

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Maura appears with drinks and hands Jane what she calls a “virgin sidecar,” which is basically lemon juice. How thoughtful of her to invent a beverage for her knocked-up friend. The world didn’t end, but Maura wants to know if it did, what would Jane really need to survive? Jane says certainly less than Maura, who proceeds to prove her point by listing all the trivialities she couldn’t live without. Jane says she’d stockpile jerky. Sounds good to me.

Then Jane turns a 180 from silly to serious and says if anything happens to her, she wants Maura to raise her kid. I told you Maura was the father. Maura says she’d be honored, and they clink virgin drinks. Then the sidecar collapses, and Maura and Jane laugh before Maura practices saying “bug-out” some more, until they don’t sound like words.

Next week, let’s see more Sankie. Wouldn’t it be interesting if they wrote those two kind of kinky, with trysts involving gurneys and lab implements and ball gags? It would certainly spice up the show. You know, until they finally get Maura and Jane together…

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