Reconvo: The Mysteries of Laura S01 Ep.14 The Mystery of the Popped Pugilist

by

L.T. Milroy and Veruca Salt

This week, we see Laura let her hair down with some old friends. And she’s gotten so good at taking care of herself, no one even has to hold that hair for her any more.

Also, she and Food Truck Tony are doing just fine, thank you. And is there romance in the air for a couple of our favorite burly and bitchy-faced detectives?

LT: As we open, a lovely, sour-faced woman is sitting in a car when she’s rear-ended. She gets out to yell at the guy behind her and sees his head is on the steering wheel. I’d assume he was in some kind of trouble and switch to concerned mode, but the ill-tempered witch starts yelling about how it’s eight a.m., because she thinks he’s hammered. Then she sees the bloody bullet hole in his neck.

 01 hole in the neck

V: Woman got out of the car screaming that the person was texting before she even saw them. It could have been a 105-year-old grandma for all she knew. “URGENT MESSAGE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE?” Chill, lady. You’ll give yourself a heart attack. If they were going for a stereotype, they got it. Also, would you dare to touch someone and pull them back from the wheel, even if you assumed they were drunk, or would you just call the police?

LT: Police, definitely. At the station, Jake is preening before the cameras about a bust.

04 jake the douche

The booty all laid out on a table.

02 booty

He gloats for a bit about how much trouble Mr. Cortez is in, then turns the proceedings over to Lisa, the Deputy Commissioner for Press Information.

04 lisa

What a mouthful of a title. She says her office will be issuing a statement by eleven a.m. The detectives look on. Billy thinks Jake is acting like kind of a tool, but Max says the camera loves him. Barf. The camera has questionable taste.

V: Never loved Billy more.

LT: You didn’t think Lisa was just window dressing, did you? She runs into Laura as she’s leaving, and it turns out they’re old friends. Laura says that when they were in the police academy, she didn’t peg Lisa as a ‘most likely to one day work at City Hall’. Then they reminisce about their old book club.

V: Apparently Laura has trouble remembering Book Club, but has a vague recollection of being engaged to a Backstreet Boy. Huh. Still better than Jake.

And there was much puking in which Lisa gets major friend cred, because she held Laura’s lustrous hair. So I’m guessing there was more alcohol and less book discussion involved in Book Club.

LT: Max slips in conspiratorially behind them.

V: Does he ever slip in any other way?

LT: Not really. Lisa suggests a reunion, and when Laura talks of how busy she is, Lisa starts chanting “Book club!” Max joins her, even though he doesn’t yet know what Book Club is. He just likes to be part of the party.

The chanting breaks Laura down, and she agrees to set a date. Before Lisa leaves, she and Laura do a fist-bump that’s nowhere near as complicated as the whole thing Laura had going on with Meredith a couple of episodes ago, and feels a whole lot more organic.

V: Max, not hearing about the Backstreet Boy or the puking, assumes Book Club is some kind of nerd meeting and mocks her for it. He’s wearing a sweater vest as he says this. Max, that’s a glass house you’re sitting in.

 05 max

LT: Laura says it wasn’t so much a book club as a get-wasted club. They just told the cadets it was a book club to keep uncool people away. Max loves that and tells Laura to text Lisa and set up a meeting right now.

V: He also resorts to chanting. Yeah, Max. You’re the picture of cool.

LT: Billy and Detective Bitchface are on the scene where the dead guy has been identified as Michael Moretti. His car is very messy, with lots of junk floating around, including a tube of orange lipstick and a Lotto ticket.

06 orange lipstick

V: ORANGE lipstick? Is he a clown?

LT: A pair of women’s undies and a tissue with blotted lipstick leads BF to say Mikey must have gotten lucky before he got unlucky and took that bullet to the neck.

At the Medical Examiner’s office, ME Renaldo is hassling Laura about Book Club and calls her a lightweight. How does he know her old nickname? He keeps his ear to the ground, he says. Sounds more like a stalker to me.

07 ear to the ground

V: My theory was that Lisa told him. It breaks a major friendship rule to go blabbing to a person’s coworkers. The first rule about Book Club is YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT BOOK CLUB. Or it should be.

LT: Mike’s body sports some clues. He has a heat rash, there are Band-Aids on his ankles, and calcium carbonate on the shell casing of the bullet. Renaldo says calcium carbonate is most commonly found in makeup. A 40DD bra was also found in the car. Yikes. Size isn’t everything, buddy. Laura then says the rash was likely caused by Spanx, and that combined with the band-aids add up to Mike being a cross-dresser.

V: Wanna know the truth? That was my other guess. Most women just don’t wear orange lipstick unless it’s Halloween.

Another clue was that he was listening to Gaga/Cher.

LT: Renaldo says the Lotto ticket was bought at a bodega across the street from Lady Mary’s, a drag bar. More ear-to-the-ground on his part. I do like a multi-talented guts ‘n gore guy.

Laura and Billy go to Lady Mary’s.

V: When Laura goes to the door(wo)man dressed as Gaga, she widens her eyes and says, “You again?” and now I’m trying to remember when last we saw this particular drag queen.

08 gaga

Anyway, once he finds out Mike was murdered, he stops with the attitude and lets her and Billy in.

LT: He says Mickey, as Mike was known, was his performance partner and he has a sister. Gaga also heard that Mickey got into a scrape with another drag queen the previous week. It was some sort of drama with Mickey calling the guy “clingy.”

They’re interrupted by the dragster who was working the crowd while singing Let’s Hear It for the Boy. How totally unoriginal for a drag club. He’s wearing some sort of bee outfit with a crown, so I suppose he’s queen bee? I suppose this kind of thing goes on all the time in drag bars.

 09 queen

V: Yeah, I think it does. It’s like a comic handling a heckler. I guess Laura was talking too loud through her act, but I think it was just an excuse to have Laura brag about her karaoke chops.

When she calls Laura Lucille Balls, Billy says, “Best day of my life” which is pretty awesome. Though Billy and Gaga do have to break it up before there’s a throwdown.

LT: After Laura claims again she would have killed the song, Billy gets them back on track. Gaga doesn’t know who clingy guy was, just that he was bald with a bad toupee. Laura and Billy go to the dressing rooms and spot a young, blond guy with a face full of makeup and a bad piece, but when they approach and badge him, he takes off. Billy chases him, but he’s eventually taken down by Gaga.

 10 takedown

V: What’s the deal with Billy lately? He gets beaten up and can’t catch the suspect. Is he ill? That man is in excellent shape.

And HA! She got him with a right hook and puts a boot on his chest before she rips off his toupee. Gaga has game. I love this character. If s/he’s recurring, I’m all for it.

LT: Billy questions Andrew, aka Sleeping Booty, aka the bald guy.

11 bald guy

He got into it with Mickey and called him a tease, but he didn’t kill him. Apparently Andrew mistook Mickey for gay, but he wasn’t, he was just another straight dude who likes dressing up and feeling pretty. But he showed his pseudo-macho bona fides by roughing Andrew up a bit for assuming he was gay. How nice. Andrew says again he didn’t kill Mickey and has an alibi.

V: Turns out he was getting electrolysis on his face, but Billy tells him he’s got five o’clock shadow and may want his money back. Poor Andrew looks alarmed.

LT: Laura talks to Drea, Mickey’s sister.

12 drea

She says he loved performing at the bar and had been cross-dressing since he was a kid. He took some heat for it growing up, but got help from his best friend Eric, who kept the bullies away until Mikey grew big enough to take care of himself. He’d gotten quite good at that, apparently; Drea tells of the time he hit a guy so hard he knocked half of his teeth out, which gets a raised eyebrow from Laura. No one messed with him after that. Yeah, the potential dental bills alone would keep me away.

V: Not to mention the assault charges. I’m surprised his parents didn’t wind up paying for the kid’s teeth.

LT: Billy spends the episode torturing Max with a hideous sculpture he got as a result of the Cortez drug bust. It’s a mash-up of a cherub and a football player, called Heisman Cupid.

 13 heisman cupid

V: Max is horrified and says the eyes follow him, despite them being closed, which he says is even more creepy.

LT: Billy displays it proudly on his desk. Is it the football angle Max dislikes? I assume he’s staunchly in favor of Cupid.

V: He called it “a bastardization of the entire neo-classical tradition. And it’s stupid.” Max is an art lover. It is an affront to his sensibilities, despite Billy’s insistence it’s “classing up” his desk.

LT: Billy knows it’s totally not classy. He just likes getting under Max’s skin. Which isn’t an incredibly difficult thing to do.

The detectives find out Mickey had a juvenile record, and his friend Eric didn’t turn out so well, either. He’s recently out of prison, on parole, and working in a pizza parlor. Billy brings up the stuff about the boys from the old neighborhood, and Det. BF says maybe someone from Mickey’s past is back. Billy says he’s waiting on Sleeping Booty’s alibi and suggests she meet up with Laura at the pizza joint.

V: They upped Max’s annoying quotient this week by having him answer in Italian regarding the pizza place. He’s doing Rosetta Stone, and his Mandarin is also coming along. I hope we don’t have to hear that as well.

LT: But nice way to work in a RS mention. The product placement was barely noticeable.

V: Yes. The PP can get pretty egregious on this show.

LT: As Laura walks in, she’s disgusted by the smell, which doesn’t seem right, since she’s such a food slut. BF says it’s clams; it’s called New Haven pizza. And she pronounces it NEW Haven, proving that she wasn’t in town for long.

 14 yale

V: It’s pizza with clams, and we see them being shucked.

15 shucked

I’m with Laura. BARF. When I walk into a pizza place, I want to smell garlic and spices.

LT: BF says she had it at Yale. Laura gives her a look, and BF admits she was only at Yale because she was visiting someone for spring break. Laura tells her not to name-drop a school she only visited once. Hee! I agree, and particularly don’t name-drop an Ivy. It looks desperate and sad.

V: For once BF looks shamed.

LT: Laura talks to the guy behind the counter, Sam, who’s shucking some clams.

16 sam

He gives Laura a slice, but she’s disgusted by the whole mollusk thing and sets Sam straight as to what’s on a proper New York pizza. But she allows for anchovies, which is just wrong. And no mention of black olives? They’re essential. I’m only speaking as a fellow food slut.

V: Agree with you about anchovies but not black olives. I’m a purist. Pepperoni.

LT: Laura says he’s in NY, so he should make NY pizza. BF disagrees, says she likes clams and free pizza, and takes the slice. A woman after my own heart.

V: Max is right. It IS opposite day. Laura refuses the greasy pizza, and the health nut accepts it.

LT: Laura asks to speak to Eric. Sam calls him over and says he hopes Eric didn’t screw up his parole again.

17 eric

V: I’m glad he said it LOUD in front of the customers, for maximum embarrassment.

LT: Eric says he can’t believe Mike is dead. BF asks for an alibi, and Sam says he’ll get Eric’s time card to prove he was working.

A guy at a nearby table overhears the conversation and tells Laura that Mickey came by the week before. He’s Vince and says he’s a friend Mickey used to get in trouble with.

 17 vince

V: Laura and I are both glad he cleared up that his name was short for Vincent. He also has a photographic memory. It seems the petty criminal might have skipped Yale.

LT: Laura asks if Mickey got a lot of crap because of his cross-dressing, and Vince says with some guys, but not with him.

V: Vince talks about how many times Mickey went to take a whiz. Will that be important later?

LT: He says when he last saw Mickey he offered him a ride home, but Mickey instead asked to be dropped off at a warehouse. Jake and Billy go there and discover it’s the venue for a fight club.

V: OOH! I already made a fight club reference. I’m totally psychic! Fight Club. Book Club. Drag Club. All kinds of clubs. This also might explain where Mickey was getting all of the money, since Drea said he didn’t make much dressing up as Cher.

LT: Jake goes up to the guy in charge and shows him Mickey’s picture.

20 guy in charge

The guy says he was a regular fighter, and he was there two days ago. He had some trouble with a Wall Street type. Mickey beat him up good after he riled Mickey up, after which Wall Street guy issued some death threats. Talk about a bad loser. It’s a fight club, dude, did you expect Mickey to blow you?

Wall Street asshole is there right now. In fact, he just got his ass kicked again.

18 ws

He’s  being carried off as Jake watches. Stick to the stock market, idiot.

V: Death threat? Total douche? He’s not the guy.

LT: Jake goes to question WS where he’s recovering from his latest thrashing. Billy tells him he’s a prime suspect in Mickey’s death. WS says he didn’t kill him.

 19 ws2

V: And now we know how he riled up Mickey. WS called him the “F-bomb” which in this case is a derogatory term I’d rather not repeat. Instead of asking why WS would say that to a guy who’s kicking his ass, Jake just gets in his face more.

LT: I was so hoping he was guilty, the bigmouth douchebag. If he can’t hold his own at fight club, I’d like to see him handle Attica.

His alibi is that he was working.

V: That seems to be going around. Did you see the women fighting? They’re usually more brutal than the dudes.

LT: Yes, I noticed them…

Out in the arena, Billy sees someone recording a fight. He tells the guy he’ll have to turn over everything he recorded two nights ago. The kid whines about his senior thesis at NYU and some tripe about artistry, but hands the video over when Billy threatens to tell his mother where he is.

21 kid

V: Dude, he even invoked Harvey Weinstein.

LT: At the station, Billy, BF, and Jake watch the video on their brand-new confiscated TV.

22 confiscated tv

Jake spouts off obnoxiously about his pugilistic past. I guess the press conference didn’t give him the proper amount of attention he required.

23 douche jake 2

V: Did you catch where he kind of casually brings it up, so BF asks him about it, and Billy tries to silence her? But it was too late.

LT: He talks about how Laura was anti-boxing, when Laura pops into the room and says she wasn’t against boxing, she was against watching her boyfriend get hit repeatedly in the face. The video scans the crowd, and they spot a woman wearing the same orange lipstick found in Mickey’s car.

V: Wow. A woman wearing orange lipstick. Huh. But it is teh fug.

24 orange lipstick2

And of course Jake had to comment on the “rink girls” even though earlier, we saw the women actually fighting.

LT: Max ID’s lipstick babe as Donna McKinney, a manager of MMA fighters. Then he proceeds to explain MMA, because he assumes everyone is as unfamiliar with the concept as he is. He should try to explain Lady Mary’s, I’m sure that’s more in his proverbial ballpark.

Donna is apparently quite a handful, as two former boyfriends have restraining orders against her. They also find that Mickey texted Donna two hours before he was killed to say he needed to talk to her about “the fix tomorrow.” Tomorrow is tonight, and there’s an MMA bout in Atlantic City. Donna has a client in it, and Mickey is on the undercard. They think if Mickey found out Donna was fixing fights, maybe she killed him to shut him up.

V: That doesn’t make sense. It sounds from the text message like he was in on it.

LT: This all adds up to: Atlantic City road trip! But when Jake tells Laura, she says she has plans and Jake is supposed to watch the kids, so he can’t go. He scoffs at the whole book club reunion thing, but Laura wins the argument.

V: Okay, THAT shocked me. And it goes a long way toward rehabilitation of the character, far more than the other manipulative stuff he does. He was willing to give up a road trip to watch the kids, so Laura could have the night off.

LT: Instead, Billy and BF go and pose as a couple on their honeymoon. BF wonders how to get AC promoters to talk to cops. It will take flash and cash, and they have neither. But Billy knows there’s more where that horrible sculpture came from, and he has the answer: Cortez booty. He takes her to a garage, where a beautiful, obviously insanely-expensive car awaits. BF smiles and says she’ll drive.

 25 car

V: Of course she will.

LT: Laura meets up with the other members of Book Club at a bar.

26 out drinking

 

The four go full-on girls-gone-wild and order shots. No wimpy lite beer tonight. A guy who looks a lot like Food Truck Tony catches Laura’s eye. Hmmm…

V: I nearly swooned when he looks around all confused then spots her and gives her this sexy-ass smile that would have made my knees buckle. DAYUM, Laura. I’m jealous.

28 tony smiles

LT: Billy and BF arrive in AC with BF all dudded-out like Mob Wives of Brooklyn.

29 mob wives

Billy asks the car attendant about that night’s MMA bout, which car guy says is sold out. Billy hands over a bunch of money, and the parking guy leaves.

V: I love how BF totally breaks character and starts getting all worried about getting receipts for the cash they’re shelling out. Billy has to remind her that undercover, there are no receipts. But BF did redeem herself when she pulled Billy in for a kiss as the guy approached. I don’t think Billy was opposed to it, though.

The parking guy hands Billy a ticket. They start to walk away and Billy talks about his love of fighting, when parking guy stops him to say that was his parking ticket. Billy’s like “VIP, blah blah blah” and parking guy, who is sure smarmy and cocky for a parking guy, explains that Billy’s measly two bills won’t get him diddly. He needs twenty bills. Billy forks it over.

LT: Thank goodness for drug busts and civil forfeiture.

Meanwhile, the shots keep flowing for the wild book club ladies.

V: Laura, in her drunk state, tries to collect on a bet from one of the women, who backs out. Laura threatens her with what she did back in the day when the woman bailed on beach day, which is siphon all of the oil from the woman’s car. Said woman had no idea it was Laura but had to tow her car thirty miles, wait for it, to visit her mom in the hospital.

At first it looks like there may be a throwdown, but these are a bunch of fun drunk people, so they laugh it off.

I like how after the whole catfight situation with Jake’s former GF last week, they’re showing Laura with female friends, and there’s no cattiness or bitchiness. They’re just friends having a good time. It’s also nice to see her cut loose.

LT: They decide to play something they call that guy. So that’s why Food Truck Tony is there! They add that the last time Laura played, she wound up marrying that guy. A bit of foreshadowing, perhaps?

V: Let’s hope so!

LT: They see Laura glancing FTT’s way and tell her she has three minutes to get him in full make-out. She says she won’t need that long.

V: Dude, you have to play it a little cooler. I can’t believe they haven’t picked up that FTT is a plant. They are so cute together as Laura gets him to make out with her.

30 makeout

I’m so happy they are keeping this relationship alive. And these two have tons of chemistry. I love it.

LT: Billy and BF are at the cage match and are now officially high-rollers. BF has lots of bling and mentions a diamond Billy says is fifty karats. Wow, they really are high-rollers!

V: Especially since, as BF mentions, the HOPE DIAMOND is only forty-five. Let’s hope the other people are just as ignorant about diamonds as Billy is.

LT: They spot Donna, and he introduces himself as Billy Ramos, a fighter rep from Miami. He asks about placing a bet, but BF whines about how he shouldn’t be working on their honeymoon. He calms her down by asking her to make “fishy face” then kisses her.

31 fishy face

They’re pretty convincing as a couple of rich, totally tedious, self-involved jerks. Billy says he wants to bet on Mickey, but Donna says he’s dead.

V: Then Donna calls Billy handsome, and BF tells her to back off. I also noticed this undercover involves a lot of kissing.

LT: Back at the bar, the girls are impressed and congratulate Laura on winning that guy. Then they all check their phones. Laura has a message from Billy, saying Donna is playing dumb about Mickey. One of the ladies says something about checking a guy’s phone for received texts, which is new to Laura. Poor, technology-challenged Laura. Maybe now that she knows about it, this will aid the case?

V: They have GOT to stop having these all-too-convenient contrivances. Because it seems that other woman had no idea you could check a guy’s phone. Who doesn’t know you can pick up a phone, look at it, and see if they received a text? You don’t have to be technologically advanced to do that. I can’t believe Billy didn’t come up with it on his own. Or BF, since she’d already been eyeing Donna’s cell phone.

LT: Billy and BF now know they need to check Donna’s phone for received texts, thanks to Laura and her plastered friends. They stage a little tiff, as BF starts bitching about the cage match, and how she wanted to go to Barbados. She pushes Billy then gets into a snit with Donna, as Billy checks her phone. He finds what he was looking for and badges her.

They take Donna to the bar and question her.

32 donna

She says the fight club fight of a couple of days ago was Mickey’s last, as he wanted to go pro. Her lipstick was in his car because they were having an affair. Billy and BF mention “the fix,” but Donna says she thought he meant to fix a situation with an old friend of his.

He showed up earlier. Said his name was Eric, he was Mickey’s manager, and he wanted money. He pulled a gun on Donna and told her she’d stolen Mickey from him, and if she didn’t want to end up like Mickey she’d better pay him $30,000.

BF hands her the phone and says to set up a meeting. As she dials, Donna tells them how much she bought them as a couple, and they might want to check into that. More foreshadowing from this show?

V: When I first found out they were going to AC together, I thought FOR SURE they’d be making out before the evening was over. These two are inevitable. They are two beautiful people destined for each other.

LT: Book Club looks like it’s getting a little green in the gills. Someone is barfing up her toenails, but it’s not Laura, so it looks like she’s shed the lightweight moniker. She is nice enough to hold her friend’s hair, though.

 33 lightweight

V: It’s only fair, since Lisa held Laura’s hair when she was a lightweight. You knew once Lisa kept calling her a lightweight, that she’d be the one praying to the porcelain throne.

LT: Eric arrives at the casino to meet up with Donna.

35 meetup

Then shows her his gun and is grabbed by BF and Billy.

 34 shows the gun

Jake is watching the fight club video, again. This is kind of pathetic, like the old high school quarterback who can’t stop talking about the big game twenty years ago.

 36 watches video

V: To be fair, he’s trying to analyze the fight.

LT: I think he’d be watching it over and over, anyway. He likes reliving his glorious past.

V: But on the downside, he talks about how all of the “hot women” are getting in the way. Ugh. Douche.

LT: Laura interrupts his revelry to tell him Eric’s gun matched the one used in Mickey’s murder. Jake has been studying the video closely and thinks Mickey’s fight was fixed. He looks disappointed when he hits Wall Street guy and WSG hits the canvas.

V: Yeah. That’s when WSG laid the “F-Bomb” on Mickey, thus making him hit harder than he should have.

LT: It looks like Mickey was supposed to throw the fight and didn’t, and someone lost big. Laura says Eric is covering for someone.

V: As Jake looks at the video, he catches the guy who runs the fight club looking all shady.

37 shady

LT: Laura is with Eric and tells him she knows Mickey was supposed to throw the fight for him.

 38 eric

V: Yet MORE contrivance about the whole “lightweight” thing and how it’s tricky when old roles get reversed. Okay, first of all, we’re talking about puking from alcohol. Laura held Lisa’s hair as payback for it being the other way around. It was a total joke with the lightweight thing, and there was no weirdness because of it.

Compare that to this situation, where there is a role reversal, in that Eric protected Mickey, and Mickey wanted to do right by him. This is way different and doesn’t correlate at all. Laura didn’t need to make that tenuous connection to solve the case.

LT: Eric says he can’t talk, because the police can’t protect him, or his mother and sister. Laura says they can be protected, but he clams up.

At the warehouse, Jake questions the guy who runs the fight club.

39 fight club

He says the whole thing is perfectly legal, but Jake says the betting isn’t. He also says he noticed that the guy who runs the club is the only person on the video who never reacts to how the fights turn out, which means he must be taking the betting action. Jake also noticed he’s the only one wearing a jacket inside the steamy fight club, because he needs pockets to store all the betting slips. The guy folds and gives Jake the slip.

V: Then he tells Jake not to tell anyone he gave Jake the info, or he’s a dead man. The look Jake gives him says he may soon be a dead man.

LT: Back at the station, Laura and Jake each tell each other they’ve solved the case. Before Jake can answer, Laura blurts out it was Sam the pizza guy.

 42 blurt

V: Heh, they agree to say it at the same time on three, but Laura yells it at “one.”

LT: Eric’s gun was traced to an unsolved robbery in New Haven, right before Sam moved from there to NYC.

V: With his “disgusting” pizza. Also, Eric was in county lockup on a drunk and disorderly, so there’s his alibi. Eric, dude, get it together.

LT: Jake at last gets his say. He has the slip that says Sam bet $20,000 on Mickey.

V: There seems to be a “BOOM!” theme going through this episode. I guess Laura has just picked up this bit of slang. I’m hoping it goes away by next week.

LT: Laura goes to visit Sam, making it look like she’s there to apologize for insulting his crappy clam pizza.

40 sam

He’s pleased and goes to get her a slice. She tells him Eric is in custody. But something confuses her, as he said Eric was working the day of the murder.

Sam says Eric asked him to provide an alibi, but Laura says he gave Eric the gun and told him to get back the money he lost. And even if Eric died trying, the gun would now be traced to him and not Sam.

Then she points out that he’s the only one allowed to shuck the precious clams for the pizza, and the calcium carbonate on the bullet wasn’t from make-up, but clam shells. As cops close in to cuff Sam, she tells him that she’ll make sure he never sees the light of day, both for Mickey’s death, and for “this abomination” as she tosses the slice in the garbage.

41 abomination

I’m with Det. BF on this one: never turn down free food, even if it is mollusk pie.

V: I’m with Laura. That is an abomination. It is an offense to real New York pizza. It is where it should be.

LT: As a food slut, I could never throw away a fresh-from-the-oven slice. Even with clams.

Back at the squad room, Lisa is skulking around, hung over. So they did Book Club on a school night? Not very bright.

43 hung over

V: That makes no sense to me, either. But hey! When Billy asks if there are any good Laura stories, she says, “What happens at book club…” I AM psychic!

LT: She’s there to pick up the stuff from the Cortez bust. The DEA is claiming it.

V: Rut roh. Billy sheepishly says they kinda dipped into the money, and Lisa says that’s fine, as long as they got receipts. BF gives Billy an excellent BF.

LT: Max is only too happy to see Billy’s sculpture disappear, but Lisa says Billy can keep it. Poor Max. She runs into Laura as she’s leaving. Laura says her boys are having a sleepover and suggests another book club meeting that weekend. Here’s hoping she means Saturday, and maybe after this little shot-fest, Lisa won’t have to go to work with her ass dragging the next day.

V: Lisa asks what happened to “busy” Laura who didn’t have time to hang, and she says that after holding Lisa’s hair, she realized she missed doing that and kinda liked the idea of someone being there to hold her hair. I hope they don’t just drop this friendship. I like that it isn’t all about Laura’s romance, and they’ve taken some time to give her real friendships.

LT: Yes, it would be nice for Laura to have an occasional distraction from work that doesn’t involve guys.

That night, Laura is at the bar with Food Truck Tony. She thanks him for helping her win at ‘that guy’. He really can’t believe they’re finally all alone, with no wild girlfriends, exes, or cases getting in the way. They start to dance, and say they like each other. Aw.

 44 cuteness

V: And despite him asking if they can just dance, they totally make out. FTT is so tall. I wanna get me one of those tall, hot, sweet NY guys.

 45 kiss

LT: Not gonna happen out West. That whole geography thing can sure muck things up.

V: Sigh. Maybe I’ll get lucky and find a VERY recent transplant.

LT: If Laura does end up with FTT, do you think she’ll ever come clean to her friends about how she cheated at that guy, or just let them assume she’s marrying the second guy she ever made out with on a dare?

 V: You can never tell with Laura, but she’s really bad at lying.

So ends another mystery. Laura had a debauchy evening out with friends. Nice to see all of Jake’s blockage hasn’t yielded any results. FTT is the man. Hot and sweet and treats her well. Stay with him, girl. Don’t let me down!

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